The Siam Review

Brainchild of multi-hyphenate pop culturist hotelier, Krissada Sukosol Clapp, The Siam is spectacular from the moment you step inside its hermetic world and is one you won’t want to leave. Designed by the irrepressible Bill Bensley, it mixes a monochromatic art deco aesthetic with a benign jungle vibe offering pleasing symmetry wherever you look, slightly reminiscent, at times, of Jodorowsky’s Holy Mountain. Bric-a-brac, mementoes, antiques, photographs, often but not exclusively Thai-inspired, leap out of every pore for a never less than fascinating delve into a sumptuous and unique hotel.  

Designed by feted architect Bill Bensley the Siam is the brainchild of hotelier/actor/musician/antique collector, Krissada Sukosol Clapp, popularly known as Noi. Opened in 2012 in Bangkok’s historical Dusit district, the construct defines a lush and beautiful 3 acre space on the edge of the Chao Phraya river, contradicting its surrounding urbanity. This magical creation surely became the jewel-in-the-crown addition to the family’s hotel portfolio, one that continues to grow apace as plans for a new Chiang Mai property were announced at the end of last year. 

The reception is an exercise in lush extravagance and hides its staff well. A four-sided sofa shaped as a square sits in a sunken atrium on black and white checked tiles. Armchairs lounge with similarly colour schemed stripes below a circle of potted ferns which hang almost three metres in length. The space already feels hermetic, sealed off from the world at large, a space which has created its own world with a monochromatic art deco jungle aesthetic. A member of staff appears from nowhere, takes my check in details and before I know it, I’m introduced to my butler, Zul. I’ve never had a butler before. Zul wears a black sarong, a round collared white shirt and a black waistcoat. Zul and I swap WhatsApp numbers and he insists I contact him if ever I need help during my stay. 

Beyond reception, the hotel opens up into an oblong cavernous space the size and height of a small aircraft hangar. The space is dramatic. Its centre is an elevated, small-stepped black marble structure wherein a thin layer of water reflects more greenery, this time small shrubs and tall palm trees which almost touch a glass ceiling. It’s a beguiling sight, visual but calming, bold but beautiful, hypnotic, even, if you spend enough time staring at it. We catch an art deco lift, all black padded leather and shining chrome, to the first and only floor and find my Garden View suite at the far end of the building.

The entrance is a snazzy cubic tunnel, a kind of arithmetical homage to itself, all black muntins and mirrored glass panes. It leads onto a sizeable, elegant room, quite masculine, colonial, defined by its dark Thai teak flooring and cabinets offset by lighter grey and white walls. On these hang charcoal figures, somewhere between Francis Bacon and Frank Auerbach, sometimes charming, sometimes tending towards the erotic. The room is open plan, blends seamlessly from one living compartment to another. The king size bed takes centre stage. It faces the garden which blossoms behind a wide screen TV and a minibar/lounging area where three purple sofas offer vivacious contrast to the greenery outside. Behind the bed is a desk. Behind this is space to unpack and a walk-in bathroom with more figure drawings and a freestanding white stone resin bath. Lighting varies from pendant to recessed with various pre-selected moods which range from practical to sultry. Heavy drapes offer some kind of compartmentalisation should it be required. 

The Siam is very much a place to discover and explore and before dinner I wander. The more I wander, the more its unique character reveals itself like a proud peacock. Its gift shop, opposite reception, is, surely, unlike any other hotel gift shop. Amongst antique Thai paraphernalia, expect stuffed alligators, old Bangkok newspapers reporting on Princess Diana’s death, Star Wars posters, Hawaiian shirts, white porcelain bunny rabbits and black, china phalluses. It’s quite a mix. Quite a cabinet of curiosities. A bit Ashmolean. A bit like your globe-trotting grandparents’ expansive souvenir collection has been curated, infiltrated, by your mischievous, agent provocateur, wacky racer cousin. The hotel’s every nook and cranny is a treasure trove of forgotten lives and faded memories, of intrigue, of art, of sculpture, of photography, most of it but not all, a tribute to the owners’ Thai heritage.

The Vinyl Room continues the Gift Shop extravagance and leads out onto an elongated terrace strewn with more greenery. Throw Elvis, Duran Duran or David Bowie vinyl onto the record player whilst cowering from the full-sized stuffed alligator with its open wide jaws or whilst marvelling at the equally stuffed albino peafowl with two metre long plumage.

Likewise, there’s a slick library with cabinets galore full of vases and bowls and books opposite uniforms and paintings and maps and more and more and more. There’s even an intimate cinema at the end of the library which can be booked for private screenings.

The Chon Thai restaurant overlooks the Chao Phraya and is a few minutes walk from the main hotel. Down steps, past a square surface of water with a romantic Giacometti-like sculpture in its middle, past an art gallery on the left and some chess board like paving stones and squares of grass, through hedged borders, past lily pads in a rectangular pond. The walk is magical and in front of the restaurant is a pier which, at sunset, is also magical. As well as leading guests onto and off the Siam River Shuttle, it doubles as a cocktail terrace. 

My friend and I enjoy a Rosé champagne before retreating a few metres to the cluster of three, century-old, traditional Thai teakwood houses for ‘A Taste of Chon,’ Expect this four course taster menu to mix historical with contemporary, hence The Tang Mo Pla Han ‘signature bite’ which is inspired by a 300 year old summer watermelon snack but is here served with salmon roe, crispy shallots and mint leaves. It’s a curious but refreshing opener. Of the snacks that follow, my favourite is the Tart Geang Poo; blue swimmer crab meat mixed with yellow curry and kaffir lime.

Presented on a rice crispy type base, it mixes crunch with fragrance and delicacy. The four shared mains include Khao Yai duck breast, steamed snow fish and wok fried Cape Grim rib eye beef. Multiple flavours abound from tamarind fish sauce to red curry paste, fresh chilli, and sweet basil.

Dessert seems like a proposition too far but I’m glad I persevered. Nahm Keng Sai is a crazy mix of textures, tastes and colours. Sweet ice cream, coconut milk sauce, tapioca, pistachios, fresh corn niblets and chocolate soil collectively surprise and thrill and shouldn’t work together but do, unapologetically and emphatically.

Breakfast also takes place at Chon Thai where the magic of night lights shimmering off the Chao Phraya is replaced by a more meditative, calming tranquillity as tugboats drag barges, water ripples with more purpose and leaves whisper in gentle wind. Unlike most other high-end hotels in Bangkok, there’s no buffet in sight. Choice is strictly À La Cart,e and selection is almost exclusively Western but no less enticing for it. I nab the front table on the patio, which allows me the impression that I’m not actually in a restaurant but sitting in my own garden with my own chef and my own waiting staff. I start with Tiger Prawn Hash, a glorious but delicate mixture of tiger prawn, hash browns, asparagus and poached egg with hollandaise sauce pulling everything together and herring caviar to top it all off. The portion is dainty enough to order more from the tempting menu so I opt for a Bircher Muesli plus a Pain Au Chocolate, both of which are exemplary, the latter of which oozes the peak of Parisian decadence; flaky, buttery, chocolatey.  

I practically spit my muesli out when I see what looks like an alligator (real, not stuffed) slinking towards me. After some seconds, I realize it’s a lizard, a meter and a half in length. And it has a mate of similar size. I watch them with some caution as they saunter by and head to the pool. I take a leisurely coffee before crossing the pathway and joining them. They bask. I sunbathe. Smaller lizards bounce off white walls and squirrels scamper across a nearby fence. The water sparkles a pure, refreshing turquoise and black lines stretch along the pool bottom for a meandering op art effect. The pool is a good twenty metres in length, is straight and narrow and offers great opportunities to both swim and gaze over the ledge at the Chao Phraya.

Given how popular the Siam is, it’s incredibly quiet and, apart from at Chon Thai, it’s relatively unusual to see other guests, although staff are omnipresent, tending to the garden, polishing the floor, generally looking busy and attentive to their other-worldly environment.  The hotel offers guests the illusion that they are multi-millionaires living in their own stunning, secluded home, one attended to by devoted staff. A home which is in harmony with itself and with the nature around it. It’s a truly wondrous space and a romantic one, too, the kind of place that makes you want to fall in love again, not only with yourself and your family or partner but also the world at large.